3 Hetalia Monologues

Week-a-versary! So to celebrate, everyone's favorite anime Hetalia (Just joking... but you can't deny it's pretty funny! ) Also, these are rather small monologues, sorry. :( But their clips just aren't that long! Unless it's america who talks a lot so there are a few on here

Show: Hetalia
Character: Brittan
Genre: Comedy
Setting: Brittan tries to get revenge on America... fails.
Monologue:

Busby’s chair long ago Thomas Busby viciously beat a man to death for sitting in this, his favorite chair. After being convicted of murder he reportedly cursed the chair on the way to the gallows he swore that who ever sat in this chair would face the same fate he was about to face. It is said it’s responsible for sending over 60 people to their deaths. I’ve got it now, I’ll switch America’s chair with Busbys chair in the meeting, he won’t be able to jive talk his way out of this one. I can’t believe I didn't think of cursing him like this sooner! (maniacal laugh) Oh!

>Russia sits in chair, chair explodes<

Busby’s Chair, anyone who sits in this chair will be cursed with a quick and often painful death except apparently for Russia.

Is this how Busby is spelled? 

Clip:

Show: Hetalia

Character: America

Genre: Comedy

Setting: America draws pictures for the world confrence

Monologue:

Dude rock out! I am awesomely the first one here! Now I can say “Hey aren’t you running a little late?”  Those loosers are gunna feel like really stupid yo! Wait… it’s Brittan… The portraits, Brittan was drawing them the whole time!?

>characters grumble over re-drawn pictures of themselves<

Well that’s just annoying , why would someone choose to draw us in such a fashion? It’s unforgiveable really, how dare that mysterious person flexively express all of our indivual characteristics with skilled ketches using a reformed innovative style that reflects the American pop art syle they probably learned in New York city?

Show: Hetalia

Character: Switzerland (<3 Okay, confession time... Switzerland is my favorite) 

Genre: Self-defence!

Setting: Switzerland preps his little sister for war

Monologue:

And now we will begin our home school training session on self-defense. Pay attention, don’t talk to strangers … ever and don’t let them into the house. They will try to tempt you with candy and  peace treaties but don’t listen. If you don’t know what to do ask me okay, but always remember, stranger danger is the key, understood? Will you please try to focus, this is important! You need to be careful of wild animals they may be cute but you can never be sure what they might do.  Some of them might have sharp fangs with poison so that they will kill you. If you decide to take one in, don’t take just one because they deserve to have friends.

Clip: 

Questions on Marriage

Manga: Ouran High School Host Club
Character: Tamaki
Genre: Comedy
Setting: At Tamaki's house after having accidently kissed Haruhi.
Monologue:

Pick up Kyoya, I guess he stayed up all night again. How could he be so insensitive, when his best friend languished though a sleepless night. Doesn’t he know he ought to rise early once in a while? So a dear friend can cry on his shoulder? After running 25 laps around the school last night at full speed I can barely move my body and on top of that yesterday Haruhi and I kissed. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? It happened in true shojo manga style, the legendary “ Three –part best senrio” but that almost never happens in real life! Ah! So it was the legendary accidental kiss! What should I do?! If I follow the conventional Shojo manga wisdom, I should show up again as a new transfer student in Hauhi’s class, but I already attend the same school! Oh marriage! That’s it! We should get married! I’m the kind of man who takes responsibility for what he’s done! You help too Antoinette! We need a church that can hold our ceremony immediately! No wait… maybe Haruhi would prefer a Shinto style wedding!? Alright let’s do this! I’ll look for a location that combines both a chapel and a Shinto shrine, so you hurry up and make the guest list for me  from the people in this address book.

>passes out on bed<

Sorry Antoinette, I am aware of reality. The new Tamaki is not as stupid as the old one was. To Haruhi that kiss probably ment nothing at all, by now she’s probably forgotten all about it. I’m sure no lovelorn sighs are dreamily passing from those sweet lips that pressed mine. Their probably just eating natto with rice. On the other hand I agonize for hours. Last night over whether to even brush my teeth.

A not about this dialogue, this is from the official Shojo Beat Translation, not the fan sub. That is why the online translation provided below is different. 

Manga scene: 

http://www.mangahere.com/manga/ouran_high_school_host_club/c073/4.html Pages 1- 3

Suspicions Monologue

Show: Detective Conan
Character: Ran Mouri
Genre: Comedy / Drama
Scene: 
Ran tries to break into Conan's phone as she has suspicions that he is Shinichi. It is past midnight during the summer.
Monologue:

There is only one way to find out whether my suspicions are right or not. Conan’s phone. If the mail I sent to Shinichi really is inside then this will be proof that Conan is Shinichi. Of course. He turned off his phone so that it wouldn’t vibrate if he received a mail. But your too soft Shinichi. If I turn it on, I’ll know for sure whether… but wait a minute. Can I really do this? If Conan really is Shinichi, how will I be able to face him? Shouldn’t I wait for him to tell me? Nah, no way he would. And really, snooping around on someone’s phone… But if I just want to check whether my mail has come or not. It’s only for that, it’s not such a big deal, is it? Sorry Shinichi! (locked) Ooh, of course, I should have seen this coming. But for something like this, you’d usually use your birthday or something like that. (wrong pin code) Hmm, that would have been too easy. There are 10,000 possible codes. Trying all of them will take up to eight hours. Isn’t there anything I can think of? What if it’s MY Birthday? I’m soo stupid, there no way. No way, no way, no way… But trying doesn’t hurt right? So mine is… but what am I going to do if it really is… (wrong pin code) Oh, so it’s wrong heh? Then what number is it!?! Tell me! Keep cool Ran. Both of them are sleeping it seems. If I stay here, no one will come and bother me. If I’m no too noisy they won’t hear anything. And I do have the time…

Video of Scene: 

(I could only find Arabic subs on youtube... sorry. :( )